I struggle to rejoice in our good fortune because members of our team didn’t have such good fortune.  People’s flights got delayed and canceled.  They got stuck in Mongolia, Korea, and China.  Some wanted upgrades and didn’t get them.  Some wanted to sit together and couldn’t.  What a lesson for life.  Why me?  No life is perfect and into each a little rain must fall, but my life blows me away.  I did nothing to deserve being born in the U.S. to the wonderful, loving, stable, supportive family I was born into; nothing to deserve the amazing educational opportunities available to me; nothing to deserve the phenomenal man I am married to; and nothing to deserve the front row seat of God at work.

Kirk started going to Mongolia in 2000.  He started the Searching weeks in 2003.  We’ve been doing Mending weeks since 2005.  I have seen more miracles on my trips to Mongolia than I can even recount.  The first was in 2005 when our container of medical supplies did not arrive and we did a week of surgeries (including the first pediatric heart surgery ever done in that country with cardiac bypass) with whatever they had in Mongolia (which was not a lot back then) and what we brought in our suitcases.  There’s a story in the Bible (in 1 Kings 17) about the widow’s oil that she uses to make bread never runs out during a drought…until it is no longer needed when the drought is over.  That week the supplies were just like the widow’s oil.  We would find things we didn’t know we had…and when the last case was done, they were gone.  This year, circumstances changed in our supply line.  But, for better or worse, I lived through that week in 2005.  It’s good in that I know we can do a lot with a little.  It’s bad in that sometimes I wonder if I plan well enough for what we’ll need.  But we left a room full of supplies last year.  That room is usually full of what we left behind when we walk in on Saturday to unpack our container of supplies that Samaritan’s Purse ships for us.  This year, that room was the emptiest I had seen it since 2005.  Things I had planned in my mind to be there were not.  I must admit I panicked…and started praying!  As we unpacked, things just started showing up.  We have a lot of wonderful friends who gather supplies and donate things to us.  Those boxes were full of supply gold!  You know who you are and we thank you!!!  The week just went that way.  Every supply, equipment, or medicine hole that I thought was there was filled…and sometimes just at the very moment that we needed it.  I told the team on the last day that one of my favorite verses in the Bible is Mark 9:24 “I do believe.  Help my unbelief.”  I don’t know how many miracles I need to witness before I stop doubting.

We went to church on Sunday as usual.  Boggi’s mom was there, as usual.  I’ve written before that her daughter died under our care in 2007 (one of two we’ve lost in over 100 international surgeries, Undermaa in 2006 and Boggi in 2007).  Our team’s most fervent prayer every year is not to have to go through that again.  God was again gracious this year.  Boggi’s mom moves us to tears and wonder every single year as she tells us September is her favorite month because she knows children will be helped and she prays for us with a fervor I cannot describe but that makes me cry every time.  The church we go to was planted by our dear friends Dr. Rita Browning, a pediatrician, and Margie Stone, an occupational therapist, who are long time missionaries to Mongolia.  The church has an orphanage.  This year we had the privilege to perform surgery on one of their orphans, Ganbayar.  The Lord makes it clear in the Bible with verse after verse, like “pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this:  to visit orphans and widows in their distress” (James 1:27), that He absolutely reveres orphans.  As such, probably the softest part in my husband’s heart is for the orphan.  These sweet orphans on Sunday prayed for us and danced for us and recited verses for us.  What an honor to be so honored by God’s treasured orphans.  What a gift to all of us, but especially to Kirk.

After church, we had a luncheon for the patients and their families, a tradition that Kirk began in 2006 and that has been graciously supported by Samaritan’s Purse Children’s Heart Project for the last few years.  There were three young men there (Uugnaa, Otga, and Choijko), all of whom came to San Antonio with Children’s Heart Project for their heart surgeries, performed by our surgeon Dr. John Kupferschmid.  They traveled with Kirk and the team on the Searching trip and enthusiastically shared the Gospel with the children and their families.  At the luncheon, they shared their stories of their surgeries and their coming to faith in Christ.  At the end of the luncheon when the children and families were prayed for, I was sitting at a table with these three young men and one of them was absolutely overcome, sobbing.  I realized how absolutely personal it was for him and how he could pray in a way I never could for the healing of these children’s hearts and souls.

We did ten surgeries this week, two a day over five days.  Only one of them was “easy.”  It is heart surgery in Mongolia, so no surgery is ever “easy,” but only one went perfectly smoothly from beginning to end.  Our desire is to teach and work ourselves out of a job in Mongolia, so we have increased the complexity of the cases year after year.  This year, we did some hard cases.  And the hours were long.  There were complications and delays that added up and added up and we never got the second patient to the ICU before 9 p.m. all week.  That is unusual.  And exhausting.  For everyone.  We always have a team chaplain with us.  This year, Lloyd Folsom joined us and had some big shoes that are impossible to fill from our former beloved chaplain (who continued to pray for us all by name all week, even though he couldn’t be with us).  Lloyd created his own big shoes right alongside the former ones:  different, but equally good.  His devotional on Thursday morning was about the story in Luke 8 where Jesus tells the disciples to get into a boat to go to the “other side” of the Sea of Galilee.  During the trip, a storm comes up and the boat is nearly sinking before they call on the Lord for help.  He talked about our tendency to focus on the goal (the “other side” or, for us, the end of the week) and to wait to call on the Lord, even though He is right there with us, until we are nearly perishing.  The easiest case was on Thursday morning (I kept saying longingly after that, during every difficulty, “remember that first case on Thursday morning?!”).  One of the hardest was on Wednesday afternoon. Eegii really could have died…and he didn’t.  He really could have had a bad neurological outcome…and he didn’t.  Praise God!  He showed up with another miracle and was gracious to answer our most fervent prayer.  I realized after Lloyd’s devotional that that is what had happened.  It is so soothing when things are going badly in the operating room to lock eyes with my team members and know they are praying.  And to know that word is spreading to the rest of the team not in the O.R. and they are praying.  We cried “Lord, we are perishing!” and He was mighty to save.

The sweet orphan Ganbayar’s surgery was supposed to be Friday and we moved it to Tuesday.  He had the most post-operative complications.  Another miracle.  The Lord knew we needed to take care of him on Tuesday so we would be there to take care of him through these complications.  He was so miserable a lot of the time.  On Thursday, two people came into the O.R. to tell me, with tears in their eyes, that Boggi’s mom was sitting with him, in the same bed her daughter died in, all day long comforting him.  Words fail.  Another single mom helped us this week too, as one of our drivers (her profession).  We took care of her only child, her daughter, in 2008.  She died suddenly this past year likely of an abnormal heart rhythm.  She shared with Kirk that she remembered and appreciated the love and care of our team and she also was willing to re-enter a scene that I’m positive brings her sadness in order to serve us because we had served her.  We pray that all those around us would see Christ in us.  These two moms are some of the amazing proof that, miraculously and inconceivably, people do.

Kirk was trying to encourage the church members on Sunday that we had the same goal as them, to share the Gospel and the love of Christ, but that we just have a unique way of doing it, through pediatric heart care.  It’s the perfect metaphor for the Gospel.  We have a heart broken by sin and we need a free gift, the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, to heal it.  These children have physically broken hearts and they need the gift of our heart care to heal it.  The only step required is to accept the free gift.  We have had children whose families, for whatever reason, have refused the gift…and the children have died.  Our purpose is not only to fix physical hearts but to heal broken souls.  “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul (Matthew 16:26) ?”  If we heal physical hearts but these children and their families are lost for eternity, we’ve done nothing except make ourselves feel better.  On Saturday, I helped Kirk and Dr. Mary Porisch, our dear and dedicated pediatric cardiologist friend, screen about 25 children.  Many were children who have been taken care of by us in the past coming for follow-up checks (one family traveled for over a day for their quick time with us!).  The number of crosses I saw around necks for a country that is only 3% Christian was amazing to me.  More miracles.

I said at the outset I did nothing to deserve this front row seat on miracles.  The only thing I did was accept the free gift.  As Lloyd pointed out this week “I am not the person I should be, but by God’s grace I’m definitely not the person I was.”  And when Kirk and I were at a hospital in Kenya for a month in 2001 observing children dying of cardiac disease, I prayed that if the Lord opened the door for me to be a pediatric cardiac anesthesiologist to take care of His children internationally, I would do it.  It’s a funny thing to me that it took eleven years for me to fully realize the absolute privilege of answering the Lord’s call on my life.  He lets me see Him work in powerful and miraculous ways, in healing children and in changing the lives of our patients, their families, and the people who travel with us.  Grace.  Unmerited favor.  Thank you, Lord.

Kimberly D Milhoan, MD

For Hearts and Souls

www.forheartsandsouls.org

I do not see children like this in the U.S. because they are diagnosed and treated in a timely fashion.  I did nothing to deserve or influence my being born in the U.S., where health care resources are abundant   It was simply a gracious gift of God.  Likewise, this family did nothing to deserve or influence their being born in Kurdistan.  I saw very little joy in this child’s life.  He seemed simply miserable.  He allowed me the gift of consoling him by rubbing his cheek and showing him a toy.  I was mesmerized by him.  He desperately needs heart surgery.  I honestly don’t know if he’ll get it before he dies…or if, actually, he will survive the attempt.  There’s a Chris Rice song that goes through my mind:  “How did I find myself in a better place?  I can’t look down on the frown on the other’s guy’s face.  ‘Cause when I stoop down low, look him square in the eye, I get a funny feeling, I just might be dealing with the face of Christ.”  As I was consoling him, I got to stare into his deep brown eyes.  Matthew 25:40 says “to the extent that you [do} it to one on these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you [do] it to Me.”  When that family left, both the mom and her sister grabbed both my hands and kissed me twice on each cheek.  We performed no procedure or gave any great hope.  I think it was simply because we demonstrate love and worth to this suffering baby that they love so much.  We ended up staying past ten that night screening children.  You look into the eyes of the need, which is endless, and you find the stamina to go on.

I read a great book one of the four flights home.  My friend Allison Cabalka, who’s been with us on two of our trips to Kurdistan but not this one, gave it to me.  It’s called “The Scent of Water:  Grace for Every Kind of Broken” by Naomi Zacharias.  For me, it was not just an eyes-well-up-with-tears book, but a tears-run-down-your-face book.  I loved it and highly recommend it.  In it, she processes a lot of the suffering she has seen in the world in the context of her Christian faith.  I can relate to a lot of what she has seen, describes, observes, and concludes.  One line, in particular, resonated with me:  “Once you have been made aware, you have a responsibility to care.”  This reminds me of Luke 12:48: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be required.”  I thought about this verse a lot this week.  We took care of 20 kids this week.  We barely scratched the surface.  Over 120 more were screened.  You know you have to go back, because the need continues to be great.

Naomi Zacharias had another observation I could relate to.  She landed in London after serving in the Middle East.  She had spent much of the time there with her face covered as she served in refugee camps.  When she landed in London, a man in the airport ran into her, looked her in the face, and apologized.  This was such stark contrast to her weeks being invisible that she was shocked.  She writes her conclusion better than I could, so I have to quote it:

“I wanted to recognize freedom, to honor it, to realize what it offered instead of blazing through unaware and on a mission to retrieve, always, something else.  I could not give it to [the families I had served].  I could honor them by not taking it for granted, but I couldn’t present it to them.  Not alone, and not in a day.  Of course, they didn’t even ask me to do that.  They just asked me for [something simple].  I would start there, but not settle for it.  Respect and freedom were always worth fighting for.  I’ve seen American aid workers respond to the absence of it elsewhere with contempt for the freedom that is present in our home county.  But guilt or resentment for the voice I did have certainly wouldn’t help anyone.  I could, however, use this voice to try to make a difference.  Again and again.”

The re-entry into the free, Western world from the places we serve is always striking.  More and more, I understand the value of this gracious gift we call freedom.  I have been blessed with my place and station.  It is a gift from God.  What I do with it is my responsibility.  From me, to whom much has been given, much is required.  Now that I have been made aware, I have a responsibility to care.  May the Lord continue to provide so we can continue to bring hope and relieve suffering in the places He calls us to go.

Kirk went to Mongolia a week ahead of me with a team of 21 Americans and 11 Mongolians for the annual Searching for the Broken Hearts week. They went to four locations in the central part of the country and set a record for screening the most kids ever in one week: 3650. In fact, they set a record for the most kids seen in one day: 956. There were a number of people on this team that stayed for the surgical, or Mending the Broken Hearts week. The rest of the 34 of us on that team, including me, started arriving on Friday.

Before I even left the U.S., I got word that our faithful pediatric heart surgeon, John Kupferschmid, who has been the one and only surgeon on all these trips, had a very sick baby to take care of and could not leave the country as planned and didn’t know when or if he would leave at all. When I heard this, I thought “and so it begins….” Seven surgical trips to the same country and you start to feel you have things well in hand. But the Lord ALWAYS brings us to a point of prayerful dependence on Him. He ALWAYS changes something that we think we have control of so that He can remind us that He is in control. He started early this year. I met our faithful perfusionist Bart Hensler (he runs the cardiac bypass pump that acts as the child’s heart and lungs so that the heart can be stopped and operated on and has also been the one and only perfusionist on all these trips) in the airport in San Antonio. He knew John’s status. Without John there to operate, there’s not a lot of reason for him to be there! I loved hearing that his sweet wife Denise had encouraged him to go ahead and get on the plane, saying “you never know what the Lord has planned for you.” We spent a lot of time praying on our trip from San Antonio to San Francisco to Seoul that all would work out and we’d hear that Kup, as we affectionately call him, was on his way.

When we arrived in Seoul, we got word from Kirk that Kup was still not on his way nor had any plan to be on his way soon…and that the container of supplies that we had sent from the U.S. in May and that had been in Mongolia for a month had not been released from customs yet. I love that Bart didn’t even flinch. He just said “we’ll see what happens.” I love the phrase “you don’t see a miracle unless you need a miracle.” We needed some miracles! We also found out when we arrived in Mongolia that one of the essential pieces of equipment that we needed was stuck in customs in Beijing, China. Hmmm, three strikes, we should have been out! One of the hardest parts about being team leader, if you’re Kirk, or being married to the team leader, if you’re me, is worrying about how the team will react to all of this. You have 34 dedicated people who used their time off and paid their way to Mongolia to do….what?!?!? I am so blessed to say this team did not flinch or falter! We had an incredibly sweet and encouraging time of prayer together on Saturday morning, we collectively said “we trust you, Lord,” and we set to work. The container got released from customs on Friday night, so we were able to unload it and unpack it as planned on Saturday. One of our faithful biomedical engineers, Jim Moore from Samaritan’s Purse, flew back to Beijing, got the equipment out of customs, and arrived back on Monday. After church on Sunday, we had our traditional lunch with the patients for the week and their families, told them our surgeon was delayed, and told them how we were going to change the schedule accordingly.

I’ve learned there’s often a hindsight understanding of what the Lord was up to if you just trust Him and go along. One of my hindsight understandings is that we were able to reap a lot of the fruit that we’ve sown over five years of working with the Mongolian medical staff. Our goal is to work ourselves out of a job. So each of us on the team has been working in teaching and training those we work alongside. We were planning to do seven diagnostic heart catheterizations in the cardiac cath lab as time permitted around the operating room (OR) schedule throughout the week. We have two interventional cardiologists that usually travel with us, Mary Porisch and Allison Cabalka. Neither were able to come this week. In fact, Mary had planned to come up until a month prior to the trip and then was unable to. I guess the Lord started really early! Kirk and fellow cardiologist Dave Bush are capable of doing diagnostic caths, so they planned to take the lead on this. When Kup’s schedule changed, Dave (another faithful servant—are you getting the theme here?), who had already participated in the Searching week, changed his flight schedule to stay an extra day so that he and Kirk could get the caths done in the first two days. Neither Dave nor Kirk ever scrubbed into any of these caths. The Mongolian physicians did them entirely themselves with only Dave and/or Kirk supervising, an absolute victory from five years of training! There was good news for six out of the seven children, in that they were still operable. They will have surgery in the future, either in Mongolia or in the United States. One child is not currently operable, but he is young, so we took him to the OR to put a band on his pulmonary artery in the hopes of limiting blood flow to his lungs and hopefully preventing or even reversing damage to the vessels in his lungs and, we’re praying, making him operable in the future. We had planned to do two surgeries during the week that did not require cardiac bypass, with a possible third being the child that did, in fact, have a surgery. We were able to do these three surgeries on Monday and Tuesday with one of the Mongolian surgeons, more fruit of five years’ experience working together.

We got word on Monday afternoon that Kup was on his way and would arrive Wednesday. On Wednesday, we literally sent someone to the airport to watch the video cameras to see him come off the plane. Once he was spotted, we took a child to the OR to get him ready for his surgery requiring cardiac bypass. Kup arrived at the hospital, changed his clothes, and went straight to the OR. To give him a chance to rest, we did only that one surgery that day and planned to come back and do three surgeries on Thursday and Friday. Our original plan was to do nine surgeries requiring cardiac bypass during the week. For seven children, time was of the essence…and we were able to do these surgeries. Two children have time and will be done in future years, either in the U.S. or, more likely, in Mongolia. These were the only children’s operations that we planned to do that did not get done. To pull off three operations requiring cardiac bypass in one day is ambitious even in the U.S. To do so in Mongolia, not once but two days in a row, was amazing and absolutely historic for our team. It required all of us, both Americans and Mongolians, working incredibly well together. It was more fruit of five years of working together because I was able to finish one procedure in one OR, wake the child up, and take him or her to the ICU, while the Mongolian anesthesiologists (Drs. Dorjoo, Amra, and Enebish) were able to start the procedure in another OR. We had a long day on Thursday because the last case went long and, when this happens, children tend to bleed more. The blood supply was limited and the team quickly realized they could give their own blood. We had many more volunteers than we needed, but two team members did donate their own blood (another first for our team!) and the child ultimately did well. I think Thursday night was the night I got the image of being on a mountaintop while still being in a valley. On Friday, everyone (except those dedicated team members who stayed overnight in the ICU that night—one of whom was our pediatiric intensivist Minnette Son, who has been on every trip and always stays all night EVERY night!) was able to meet for a team dinner out at 8 p.m., even after three surgeries. Truly miraculous!

Prior to our trip, Kirk sent an e-mail to the team with this verse: “ And let our people also learn to maintain good works, to meet urgent needs, that they may not be unfruitful (Titus 3:14).” The needs are urgent. For many of these children, time is of the essence. If they are not operated on in a timely manner, their lesions become inoperable and their lives are shortened. That’s why Kup was willing to fly halfway around the world, walk straight into the OR, and operate for 2 ½ days on 7 children. The needs are urgent. That’s why our team of 34 was willing to do whatever it took and stay there as long as it took to operate on those 7 children. The needs are urgent. That’s why Minnette willingly stays in the hospital all night every night and misses out on a lot of the team bonding and fun out of the hospital. The needs are urgent. The Lord asked us at the beginning of the week if we were going to trust Him when it looked bleak. We did…and He showed up. We never lacked a single supply we needed. All the kids did well. He redeemed it all victoriously! We thought we were in a valley and it turned out we were standing on one beautiful mountaintop. As always, to Him be the glory! What an honor to see Him work.

Dear Team,

I just had one of those incredibly encouraging afternoons.  All of the kids that received surgery here in July 2009 came together to be seen in follow-up.  It was an amazing reunion.  The parents still had tears in their eyes expressing their thanks to the team.  One dad came pretty close to kissing me on the lips.  They said that they could never repay what was done for their child, to a person, and that they will be forever grateful for what the team did.  They all looked great in follow-up.

When I arrived in Kosova on Saturday I was bringing back a child that was part of our screening in July 2009.  He was in significant failure with a large VSD (ventricular septal defect—hole between the pumping chambers of the heart).  He had an uneventful repair in Orlando.  As we arrived at the airport, the grandmother said that this is the first time she has had joy since her husband was killed during the war.

These two events have really helped me put into perspective what we have the privilege to be a part of.  During that week filled with politics, broken promises, loud weddings, changed plans and all other types of difficulties, it is easy to forget that we were an answer to a families cry to God for help.  We had the honor of treating these children in the name of Christ and now two of the families have Christian kids clubs in their homes.

It was so encouraging to see all of these healed children in the midst of screening lines that never seem to get shorter and the tears of broken-hearted mothers that never seem to cease.

I have no idea what the future holds for what we do, but today my heart was filled with joy from the knowledge that I have had the privilege to be a part of a team of gifted people, who love Christ and want to share their skills with others.

I recently was thinking what really makes me happy, what brings me the greatest joy.  I think it is when I get to witness circumstances overcome by the power of God and the only answer for the victory is His power and love and Jesus gets the credit.  Today I was able to share with the families that we played a little role but that Jesus deserved all of the thanks, because if it weren’t for Him there would be no team.  Today I was able to experience that greatest joy.  I wish each of you could have been here with me to see Jesus glorified in Kosova.

Thank you for allowing me to be a part of more than making long waiting lists.

Much love friends,

Kirk

“Do not call to mind the former things,

Or ponder things of the past.

Behold, I will do something new,

Now it will spring forth;

Will you not be aware of it?”

Isaiah 43:19

For those of you looking for them, we’re sorry to not have given any updates during our time in Zambia over the last week.  We have been unable to get onto our Integrity account the entire time we have been in Africa.  That is where we have saved most of our e-mail addresses, so many that we want to send this to are not on this initial distribution list.  We were still able to create a wide distribution list because we desire to share this testimony freely and transparently with as many as possible, but feel free to forward this to any others you know will be interested and have been praying.  We have been delayed 24 hours in our return to the States and are writing this from Johannesberg.  There is much testimony in the Lord taking care of us during this delay, but that is a digression from the true testimony that we wish to share.

“The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”

James 5:16

We are so very grateful for all those who have been praying for us, our team, and For Hearts and Souls’ work in Zambia and our relationship with Pastor Edward and Barbra Mwansa, who are overseeing the orphanage work in Zambia that we started together in 2003.  Many may not know that our relationship with the Mwansa’s, a couple we have known, loved, trusted, and worked with since we met them in 2001, had deteriorated to a crisis point and our work together in Zambia had been threatened.  Many had confided in both us and the Mwansa’s that they did not know if the relationship was healable.

“With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Matthew 19:26

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

Ephesians 6:12

I (Kim) have written about experiencing spiritual battles in FHAS’ work before, but I do not think we have ever experienced such a massive battle. If any of you have ever read any Frank Peretti books, you know he has incredible fictional descriptions of the angels and demons that are behind the scenes as human events play out.  I can just visualize the angels and demons that have been at war…and I can also visualize the demons slinking away defeated from this particular battle.

The Bible gives specific insight into the battles in the heavenlies in, among other places, the book of Daniel in chapter 10.  An angel appears to give Daniel a vision.  He tells him in verse 12 that “from the first day that you set your heart on understanding this and on humbling yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to your words.  But the prince of the kingdom of Persia was withstanding me for twenty-one days; then behold, Michael [the archangel], one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left there with the kings of Persia [demons].”  He ends in verses 20 and 21 saying “Do you understand why I came to you?  But I shall now return to fight against the prince of Persia; so I am going forth, and behold the prince of Greece is about to come….Yet there is no one who stands firmly with me against these forces except Michael your prince.”  We do not presume to compare ourselves to Daniel. We do believe, however, that a huge battle was going on in the heavenlies regarding the work in Zambia.

Jesus talks of the devil in John 8:44 saying he “does not stand in truth because there is no truth in him.  Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”  Satan had been speaking many lies that we had sadly come to believe about each other.  We needed heavenly intervention to clear up the deception.

In 2 Kings chapter 6 the prophet Elisha had enraged the king of Aram.  The king had sent horses and chariots and a great army to surround the city where Elisha was.  When Elisha’s servant discovered this and said to Elisha in verse 15 “Alas, my master!  What shall we do?” Elisha answered in verse 16 “Do not fear, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.”  Verse 17 says “Then Elisha prayed and said, ‘O Lord, I pray, open his eyes that he may see.’  And the Lord opened the servant’s eyes and he saw; and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.”  The Lord opened our eyes so that we could see on this trip.

We arrived in Kitwe on Thursday evening with our team of nine.  This team came in obedience to some amazingly specific testimonies of the call of the Lord on their lives and in faith that reconciliation would occur and the work would continue.  Our entire team spent all of Friday with the Mwansa’s touring all the ministry sites their Sarah Rose Foundation is involved in in Kitwe  (Sarah Rose is the Foundation founded by Pastor Edward and Barbra in 2005 in honor of their late daughter).  These include Silent Voices, a crisis pregnancy center that Barbra founded in the 1990s and the reason we first met and visited with the Mwansa’s in 2001 (we were on the board of Silent Voices in San Diego, a ministry founded by Sharon Pearce with the support of Horizon Christian Fellowship); Nehemiah’s Boys’ Ranch, a ministry for street boys that is supported in large part by Heart of the Bride; and Mimi’s House and Betsey’s House, the two orphan homes that For Hearts and Souls have been specifically involved with.  We were also grateful on this trip to have met Bob and Candace Walker and their nine children who are full-time missionaries there on behalf of Heart of the Bride.

We agreed to meet on Saturday morning with just us and the Mwansa’s, with Pastor Greenwell Simutowe serving as our mediator.  Pastor Simutowe is a very good friend of Pastor Edward’s from Bible College that we have come to love as well.  Pastor Edward introduced Kirk to him in 2003 and since that time Pastor Simutowe has been administrating the For Hearts and Souls’ fund that sends orphans to school in Lusaka, the capital of Zambia.  He visited us in our home in October 2006 and began his role as intermediary and was able to move our relationship forward enough that the FHAS work in Zambia continued to be funded and Pastor Edward agreed to meet with us in an attempt at reconciliation.  I am so blessed for Pastor Simutowe that he was able to play this role.  He played it with wisdom and was able to see two men (and their wives) that he loves very much reconcile.  This outcome was nothing short of miraculous!

We met for over six hours without a break.  Pastor Edward’s brother joined us about halfway through and offered much wise thought and counsel as well. There was confusion, miscommunication, and hurt dating back to 2004 that we had to painfully sort through.  Pastor Simutowe was so wise that I think he sat quiet for several hours before he even spoke.  He let us talk and figuratively wrestle with one another.  There was a point where all four of us thought there was no way out.  I even looked at Pastor Simutowe thinking “do something or this is all over!”  But he sat and let the Spirit work and there came a breaking point where the tension dissipated and understanding and forgiveness came!  I tell you it was absolutely palpable in the room! All four of us were able to confess sins to each other and ask each other for forgiveness.  We were able to end with prayer, hugs, and confessions of love for one another…and with a clear direction for a new way forward in our work together, with For Hearts and Souls and the Sarah Rose Foundation in partnership.

Pastor Simutowe had told us a Zambian proverb:  when the giants wrestle, only the grass is injured.  He said Edward and Kirk were the giants and the orphans were the grass.  He said now the giants can walk on a path together and the grass will no longer get hurt.

One of our team members had shared with us Isaiah 43:18, that I opened this e-mail with, on our first night together.  We read it at the end of our six hours together.  The NIV translation says the Lord will do something new and “do you not perceive it?”  We all could perceive it as we stood in that room together.  I cannot describe the weight lifted from all of our shoulders and the burdens removed from our hearts!  Kirk was invited to preach at Church on the Rock (pastored by Edward) on Sunday morning and was able to publicly ask for forgiveness from the church body for any hurts he personally might have caused.  There was much joy and rejoicing on this day of worship.  We were able to spend the rest of our time in Kitwe planning about our future work together.

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your  faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

James 1:2-4

The evening after this miraculous outcome one of our team members prayed that she had actually been glad for the conflict and the evidence of Satan’s attack because it confirmed to her that the Lord has big plans in Kitwe!

We also have talked about the power of this reconciliation between us and the Mwansa’s in tangibly demonstrating the work Christ came to earth to accomplish.  He came to reconcile us to our Father in heaven by our accepting Jesus’ death and resurrection as payment for our sins which should separate us from God our Father.

In Matthew 6:14-15, Jesus gives us a powerful promise and warning:  “if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”  We are grateful to the Lord for His forgiveness of us and for the power of forgiveness in our human relationships that allows us to walk in His will with peace and lightness of heart.

So, we resubmit the work to the Lord and we beseech Him to open the floodgates of provision to care for His orphans.  The Lord has been faithful.  Most of you know that the policy of For Hearts and Souls is never to seek man for maney but always to seek our Father in heaven.  We pray you know the desire of our heart never to seek credit for this, but the testimony is that the amount of money that the Lord has laid upon His people’s hearts to contribute to FHAS for the work in Zambia since the first house opened in July 2003 is easily over $250,000 (our accounts are always open; we desire to be transparent).  We only report that as a desire to testify to the amazing provision and greatness of God.  There are currently 35 orphans at Mimi’s House and 10 former street girls and 4 of their babies at Betsey’s House, a total of 49 children entrusted to us.  We trust that He will continue to provide according to His will and only for His glory.

We thank you for your prayers…and we ask that you continue to pray for the orphans and for all those who remain in Kitwe to continue the work, including the Mwansa’s and all the Zambians who represent Sarah Rose Foundation and Church on the Rock.  Pray for the 6 who have stayed in Kitwe on the part of For Hearts and Souls:  Gloria Gunning, a nurse who will be there for 3 more weeks; Kirk’s mom Judy Milhoan, who serves as FHAS’ accountant and who will be there for a month; Cameron Sweeney, who served there last year for 3 months and will be there for another month this time; Richard Lamb, FHAS current leader on the ground, and his wife Tae, a nurse, who will be there 2 months; and Tara Rabe, who is serving on the part of Youth with a Mission for a full 6 months.  Pray for the Walkers and for Karen, a full-time missionary teacher serving their family.  Pray for all the ministries involved and those who represent and support them, including the Sarah Rose Foundation, Church on the Rock, Silent Voices, Heart of the Bride, and For Hearts and Souls…and all others who contribute and support and serve who I have failed to name.  We pray we can continue to work together in peace and cooperation as we seek to do the will of the Lord and glorify Him.

“Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this:  to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.”

James 1:27

To God be the glory, truly great things He has done!

Humbled, rejoicing, in peace, and excited about what is to come,

In the great and mighty name of Jesus,

Kim & Kirk Milhoan

Kirk and I are flying home from Kurdistan together. It was our third trip there this year, as the Children’s Heart Project of Samaritan’s Purse has started a work there. On the first, with a team of three, we screened children for heart disease. On our second, with a team of ten, we added cardiac catheterizations. On this one, with a team of sixteen, we added heart surgeries. It was our eighth international pediatric cardiac surgical trip since 2005 to our third country. It was the first time an international team went to Sulamaniyah, Kurdistan, Iraq to assist in pediatric heart surgery.

Each surgical trip is hard, really hard. I think it must be something like childbirth, where you forget how hard it is until you find yourself doing it again. I think everyone on our team has somewhat of a love/hate relationship with these weeks. The fruit is so, so sweet. But getting to the fruit is so, so hard! Starting in a new country is hard too. We’ve done six surgical weeks in Mongolia. It is still challenging, but that is now familiar territory. I think we’ve been guilty of having amnesia to how hard it is to start in a new country, both last year in Kosova and this year in Kurdistan. The first clinical day of this trip, however, may have been the hardest, largely due to politics that are not worth going into. I don’t think I’ve ever been so tempted to quit. I always start these weeks with these updates on my mind, wondering what the Lord is going to teach me through the trip. I confess I started the week thinking it was going to be a really discouraging update!

We had an idea of what was facing us in the weeks leading up to the trip, but we persevered because we had made a promise to come. Over the course of these many trips, I have learned a lot about my husband as a leader. He has the faith to persevere when many others (including me!) would quit. Most probably would have called it off, given all that went on in the weeks leading up to it. But it was very important to Kirk that we keep our word. In the first day’s discouragement, I thought “well, there’s the lesson. We kept our word. Too bad it didn’t work out.” But every one of us on the team felt we had been called there for a reason. I think each one of us kept being obedient to the next task in front of us. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that in the days leading up to the trip Kirk had sent each of the team members the following devotional from My Utmost for His Highest:

“We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are 
obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God¹s purpose for us. In fact, His 
purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself. What is my vision of God¹s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish. His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see ‘Him walking on the sea’ with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see ‘Him walking on the sea’ (Mark 6:49
). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God. God¹s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself. God¹s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.”

Walking in moment-by-moment obedience in the chaos of Sunday, we were able to perform two heart catheterizations…and we were able to have a very productive meeting with the local team at the end of Sunday. On Monday, it was palpably a new day. I love the verse “weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning (Psalm 30:5).” I felt the Lord’s joy on Monday and His faithfulness in answering our prayers. I think that was the first lesson: are you going to be steadfast in the face of trial? I really didn’t think we’d be back on Monday, but there we were, persevering.

The second lesson for the rest of the week was: are you going to grow weary in doing good? We started Monday with a catheterization to see if we could close a vessel with a device, but ended up needing to go the operating room (O.R.) to do so. We followed with an operation on a four-kilogram baby. On Tuesday, we started in the cath lab with another four-kilogram baby and then went to the O.R. with a seven-kilogram baby. Doing anything on a child less than ten kilograms really stretches our skills and supplies, even in the U.S., but especially internationally. Monday and Tuesday were very long days. All I could think about was how weary I was, that I didn’t know if I had it in me to continue. But I continually learn the lesson that God’s grace is sufficient for me and that His power is perfected in my weakness (2 Cor 12:9). I walked in on Tuesday morning and saw that first four-kilogram baby from Monday smile at me and all I could think of was “do not grow weary in doing good.” All the parents of these children thank us for giving them hope, for caring for their children. All their tears, pleading, and expressions of thanks remind me of why we do what we do. I think that child’s smile on Tuesday morning was the turning point for me. I wish I could tell you I go into these weeks knowing it’s not about me, but the long trip, the jet lag, the long days, and the endless complications of doing these procedures internationally make me start to think a lot about me and my tiredness. But the Lord keeps reminding me to “not grow weary in doing good.”

On Wednesday, we performed a surgical procedure called a BT shunt. One of the sickest patients we’ve ever taken care of on a previous trip was a BT shunt, so we all have a little post-traumatic stress disorder regarding this procedure. In addition, it was in a patient with Tetralogy of Fallot, who is at great risk of dying even with an anesthetic induction. The procedure went well. I took her to the ICU looking “great,” for who she was and what she had been through. We went to the cath lab to do another device procedure, knowing we might have to take that child to the O.R., just like the child earlier in the week. I prayed so hard that the device would work. It ‘s so much nicer for the child to have a small groin wound from the cath versus a large incision in their chest wall, but I also confess some selfishness to my motivations. I really wanted a shorter, easier day! God was gracious to the child and the device worked. I had no chance for euphoria, however, because as we were finishing the procedure I learned that our first patient of the day needed to go back to the O.R. emergently. I thought the Lord’s plans were to give us a shorter, easier day. He just knew we didn’t need to be in the O.R. with another patient when we had that emergency. I think that day turned out to be our latest night but, once again, on Thursday morning, I walked into the ICU to see a smiling patient. Such sweet gifts from God!

We got the most procedures done on Thursday, six in all. It was supposed to be our last day of procedures, but just as I was about to be euphoric about being done, Kirk, in his screening, found a really sick boy who needed an operation on Friday. I must admit that when I learned this I almost wanted to cry. When were we going to get to rest? We successfully took care of this boy on Friday morning and it was, literally, a life-saving operation. I immediately understood in taking care of him that it was the absolute right thing for us to do and was quite repentant of my bad attitude. “Many are the plans in the mind of a man (or woman named Kim!), but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand” (Proverbs 19:21). “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are [His] ways higher than [our]ways and [His] thoughts than [our] thoughts” (Isaiah 55:9). Thank the Lord that this is true!

We had a debriefing meeting with our team and the local team on Friday afternoon. One of the Kurdish doctors commented that probably the greatest thing the local team had learned from us during the week was that we were merciful to their children. With eleven cath, seven surgical, and two other diagnostic procedures done, as well as seventy-one children screened, the children’s and family’s stories are endless. One family had lost six children before birth. They had sold their home and their car in order to go to Jordan for in-vitro fertilization to have the precious daughter that we performed one of the surgeries on. She pleaded with us through tears to take care of this baby she had spent a decade desiring to have. What a sacred trust…and what a powerful gift of God to return her baby to her surgically healed. One family was part of a religious minority in Iraq and claimed they were always treated poorly. What a privilege to give the same love and concern to this child as to other child we saw. Arab or Kurdish; Muslim, Christian, or any other religion…all are precious in His sight. And what a high compliment for the greatest observation of the week to be an acknowledgement that we were merciful.

“But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God, and not of us (2 Cor 4:7).” It is only by the grace and power of God that we, who are oh so human, accomplish anything on these trips. To Him be all the glory!

That was my emotional moment of this late trip to Kurdistan. I was helping screen over 700 kids at a village school on Tuesday. Most of the kids during these large-scale screenings have normal hearts. We’re just trying to pick up that very small percentage that may not have been diagnosed. We do a basic cardiac exam and if we find any abnormalities, we have one of our two pediatric cardiologists (Kirk and Mary Porisch) perform an echocardiogram (ultrasound of the heart). Pragmatically, we only have minutes with each child. They don’t speak our language. We smile and try to be as loving as possible, as their poor little hearts race from nervousness about seeing foreign doctors. The older children have been taught to say “how are you?” I try my limited Kurdish words: “hello,” “you are good,” and “all done.” I find the word for “you are good” usually brings a relieved smile. As I touch each one, I say a small prayer in my head. I don’t know nor probably will never know their story. I will likely never come in contact with them again. I am overwhelmed by the fact, however, that God knows them. It is beyond my comprehension that God knows me so graciously, mercifully, and intimately…and knows each one of these children as well. He knows their hopes, their dreams, their struggles. He loves them. And He asked me and nine other people to travel to the other side of the world to communicate that fact. Still brings tears.

The ten of us (me; Kirk; Mary; Minnette Son, pediatric ICU doctor; Barbara Jo Achuff, pediatric cardiac hospitalist; Cathy Woodward, PhD, Nurse Practitioner (NP); Lisa Matasovsky, NP; Nelia Soares, NP; Mike Andersen, pharmacist; and Tim Sanken, indescribable servant of God) went on this trip for two overarching reasons: to perform heart catheterizations in Sulaymaniyah and to screen children in the village of Shoresh. Our incredible nurses also provided a nursing conference and practical clinical teaching in both locations.  Kirk, Allison Cabalka, and I were in Sulaymaniyah in March and had hoped to perform caths, but God had other plans. Kirk had planned this screening trip and I did not plan on accompanying him because I usually just travel when I’m performing anesthesia, trying to limit my time away from my practice at home. But given our inability to do caths in March, he planned for us to do two days of caths this time. One major goal of what we do internationally is to train the local doctors. I had met the two anesthesiologists chosen to be involved in the new pediatric cardiac program, knew they had yet to be involved in providing general anesthesia for pediatric caths, and knew before I even left last time that I would have to figure out a way to come back. It’s interesting that I read a devotional in Oswald Chambers’ “My Utmost for His Highest” right after we got home that talked about honoring the commitments you make during “mountaintop” emotional experiences. So easy to go home, get back into the busyness and cares of “normal” life, and talk yourself out of these commitments. I made my planes reservations for a whirlwind trip.

Kirk had gone to Kosovo the week prior to this trip to transport back a child whose heart had been repaired in Orlando, to do some screening, and to follow-up on the five kids we had done surgery on there last summer (I will post separately what he wrote about that experience). He and most of the other team members arrived in Jordan on Wednesday and Thursday and were able to take advantage of some local touring. Me and one other time member arrived Friday night. We got up at 3:30 a.m. to get to the airport to fly to Sulaymaniyah and our day ended at 11 p.m. after a day of visiting the city market, visiting with some of our prospective patients at the hospital, and having dinner with the local doctors. We were at the hospital at 8 then on both Sunday and Monday and ended both days at 11 again.

We took care of nine children in those two days. We closed two abnormal vessels (PDAs, for those medical practitioners out there), ballooned three tight valves (two pulmonary and one aortic), and performed four diagnostic studies. Three of those children will need further procedures. One was a surprise and relatively recent diagnosis for an approximately 10-year-old girl whose parents thought she had a normal heart until a murmur was recently detected. Her prognosis is good. Two were good news because there was a question whether they were going to be candidates for operative repair. The last was bad news. It is too late for operative repair on this child. There is little joy in being part of these cases. Our team takes it very hard, let alone the family. One of our team members reported that she took solace in the fact that, in a sense, we are protecting this child. There is such a desire to “do something” that someone might attempt to perform surgery on this child, likely causing her demise. She will likely live longer without surgery so at least we can provide the family that information. It’s sill what drives us to do these large-scale screenings though, to find these children before it is too late.

We were in the cars heading to the village of Shoresh at 7 on Tuesday morning. It is a village that resulted from widows and orphans being abandoned there during Saddam’s regime. Our driver told us most did not survive this abandonment. The village is now sixty percent widows and orphans. Samaritan’s Purse has built an incredible community center there called the Fountain of Love: big two-story clinic building; three lovely guest villas for staff and visiting teams; gymnasium, soccer field, and basketball court; and acres of newly planted olive, apricot, and pomegranate trees. There are visions for a school there some day. This week is the official grand opening. There was a desire for it to be “working” when it opened, so we had the honor of being the first team to visit. It is beautiful!!! Our team gets to be ambassadors to the community about this new facility, so the plan was for us to visit three or four schools in the village this week. While most of the team went to a school for a morning and afternoon session, the two cardiologists stayed at the Fountain of Love clinic to evaluate kids with known heart disease. While we saw over 700 in the school yesterday, they saw over 30 in the clinic. The last patient of their day was a girl who was now inoperable. Seems to me the Lord keeps ending our days this way to keep us motivated.

In keeping with my desire to limit my time away from work, I left the team at 9 p.m. on Tuesday. They will do at least two-and-a-half more days of screening and then participate in Fountain of Love’s grand opening celebration on Friday. They are expecting up to 500 people, dignitaries included. I’m in the London airport as I write this. I texted Kirk and asked him how the day was going and his simple reply was “busssssssssssy.” I’m not surprised. I can’t tell you how sad I was to leave the team, but how grateful I was that I got to participate at all. I pray for them as they continue on loving these children, in Jesus’ name.

I’m flying back from my first trip to Kurdistan, Iraq. Kurdistan is an autonomous region within the country of Iraq, located in the northwest. This was Kirk’s third trip there and his fifth time to Iraq in general, as he served there in the U.S. Air Force on tours in 2005 and 2007 (experiences he wrote about in his book “Thoughts from the Cradle”). What an incredible opportunity to finally share in going to this region with him. It really is true that, despite the best explanations in the world, you can only truly understand by experience. It was a week of lots of lessons, both political and spiritual.

We went to examine children with heart disease. Our team consisted of me, Kirk, and our good friend, Allison Cabalka, a pediatric cardiologist from Mayo that we have worked with many times before. Allison is an interventional cardiologist and we had hoped to do some diagnostic and/or therapeutic heart catheterizations, but, as usual on these trips, the Lord had different plans. We had made our plans with the local individuals working on this project and bought our tickets before we all realized it was election week in Iraq. We arrived on Saturday, the day before the elections. The usual weekend in Iraq is Friday and Saturday. The elections were Sunday, so it was a holiday. Monday and Thursday were also holidays, so the only real “working days” in the week where we could have used the cath lab were Tuesday and Wednesday. It, however, was booked with adult patients so there was not room in the schedule for us to do kids. We always accept on these trips that the plan is the Lord’s. He was either protecting us from something or just had other things He wanted us to be about. The real reason I went on the trip was so I could provide general anesthesia in the cath lab. The Lord did not use me in this way, but I firmly believe He just wanted to get me there for a variety of reasons: to see and be touched by the need, to understand so much more about the region than I ever did before, and to report back to others that the Lord is calling to this area that I felt completely safe.

While I am not a historian, I’ll explain my best general understanding of what I learned from observation and questioning of those I met. The Kurdish people group have their own language. Their religious background is primarily Muslim. They reside in Iraq, Iran, Turkey, and Syria. In the autonomous region of Kurdistan, Iraq, March is full of many holidays for them, largely marking different dates in their struggle for autonomy. Later this month is their new year, on which they celebrate a day 2700 years ago when they believe a Kurd killed an oppressive Persian king. Their recent history in Iraq is one of struggle with Saddam Hussein’s regime. They have their own army, the Pershmerga. There have been life-threatening consequences for being part of this force. Our driver’s father was a member and he describes his family being forcibly moved to the south of Iraq for a number of years. One of our translators described a similar experience for his family. Another one of the dates they celebrate is when they won a victory that allowed them to move back to the Kurdish region. The 1980s were particularly bad for the Kurds in Iraq. This was the time of the Anfal, where over 200,000 Kurds were killed and 4,500 villages were destroyed. Another day they commemorate, for example, is March 16, a day in 1988 where Saddam Hussein’s regime killed 5,000 people in the village of Hilabja with blister gas. I saw horrifying pictures and I also met an orphaned double-amputee survivor of this day. Many of the Kurds survived this time frame by fleeing into the mountains. I met an American nurse who was forced to flee with them and lived and served in a refugee camp for at least a month during this time. In an attempt to prevent the Kurds from being able to hide in the mountainous, Saddam systematically tore down thousands of trees. I went into these mountains. They are bare, except for small saplings or trees that have been recently planted.

They mark 1991 as a year when things started to get better. That was the time of the first Gulf War, when the U.S. started to enforce a no fly zone over the Kurdish region. The killing slowed, but they were still under Saddam’s regime. We were in the town of Sulaymaniyah. There is a building there they called the security building, where Saddam’s forces were stationed. It was a prison. Men (and women and children who were part of their families) who were suspicioned or falsely accused of being part of the Pershmerga were taken there for questioning, torture, and/or killing. Our driver told us if you got taken there, you did not expect to live. People would not drive or walk down this street out of fear, nor would they even look in the direction of this building for fear of being summoned. They mark 2003, the beginning of the second Gulf War, as “liberation.” This building fell then, in terms of being under Saddam’s control. They have left it as it was as an equivalent to a holocaust museum. We got to tour it. One of those things you do like eating your spinach. You know it’s good for you, but you sure don’t like it. I saw pictures, re-creations, and real conditions. It causes tears and a turned stomach. They are now the second people group I’ve met (the first being the Kosovars) who do not hesitate to express their love and gratitude to Americans for saving them. It is indescribably humbling to witness such gratitude.

Thanks to the protection of the U.S.-enforced no fly zone, the Kurdish autonomous region has had a head start on the rest of the country in re-building, as this started for them in 1991. In general, conditions are much better and the area is much safer than the rest of the country. They are serious about maintaining safety. Suspicious cars are not tolerated. Those who own cars told us they only park them where they are known. They put their name and phone number in the front windshield. If they park in a new area, they will explain to a local person that that is their car and when they will be back. Or they simply don’t leave their cars unsupervised. We had a driver for the week. He would drop us off at the hospital in the morning and then stay there all day with the vehicle waiting for us. (He is a former member of the Iraqi special forces. His career ended when his vehicle got hit by an I.E.D. (improvised explosive device) and he broke his shoulder and collar bone. He had lots of stories and information, as well as lots of respect for the U.S. and the coalition forces.) We walked through the open air market in the center of town, on streets near the hospital, ate in restaurants, and stayed in a hotel. We were treated with nothing but respect and I never felt unsafe. We were also there during election week, which I think is a great test of the safety of the region. Cars were not allowed to drive on the streets until after noon on election day. There were no bombings in the Kurdish region on this day, nor have there been any in something like two years. I was really impressed with the incredible levels of airport security when I left, like nothing I’ve experienced before. I absolutely respect and appreciate all they are doing to keep themselves safe.

The entirety of the country is not safe. Kirk and I had an opportunity to meet with an Iraqi government official, who is not a Kurd. He was arrested in the 1980s for attending the funeral of someone Saddam had executed. He survived his tortuous questioning without confessing any crimes, so he was freed with the knowledge that if he were arrested again he would be killed. He fled the country and worked from the outside in opposition to the regime, at the cost of seven family members being killed because of his work. Knowing the controversy in the U.S. media, he argues support for the Iraq war on three counts: 1) use of weapons of mass destruction (e.g. Halabja, 3/16/88, 5000 killed with blister gas; this incident is only one example; this gas has been found in the country since the start of the war and U.S. soldiers have been treated for exposure to it); 2) crimes against humanity (over 200,000 Kurds, Iraqi citizens, killed; and 3) international terrorism (e.g. invasion of Kuwait for control of their oil fields). In his words, what has happened in Iraq is a “success story.” The fact that the current president of Iraq, Jalal Talibani, is a Kurd, a member of a formerly oppressed people group, is a demonstration of the success of democracy equivalent to the U.S. electing its first black president. There are more women in the Iraqi parliament, on a percentage basis, than even the U.S. congress. Other nations in the Middle East are starting to elect women to their governments. He acknowledges the instability and says it comes from former members and supporters of Saddam’s regime. I read an excellent editorial in the 3/12-14/2010 issue of the “USA Today” by Don Teague talking about the cost to Iraqis of supporting regime change. Many have had to leave the country. Those that don’t have the means to leave the country have paid with injury or death, of themselves or their loved ones. One of the mom’s of the children we saw this week told us her husband had just been killed. Another told us her brother had just been killed. As Don Teague argues, there is going to be a cost to turning our backs on what we helped start. U.S. history is filled with examples of paying the ultimate sacrifice for a higher good. No World War II, no defeat of Hitler. No Gulf or Iraq Wars, more Kurds killed and the good that this official enumerates so far would not have occurred. Interestingly, there is a relative of Saddam now working in the Kurdish region in order to protect himself that people we met work with. He has had the scales lifted from his eyes and by now living and working with the Kurds, he admits much he believed to be true about them was a lie.

You’ll notice I’m trying really hard not to give away sources and specifics. That is because I’ve come to appreciate the real cost and danger to those who are trying to do good in the midst of these dangerous politics. At the risk of not giving credit where it is rightly due, I’m not going to tell you all the people, countries, and organizations involved in taking care of these heart kids that we went to evaluate. I will tell you I believe they are heroes. You can imagine that health care has suffered greatly in Iraq under the past regime and under the current political instability. Due to previous laws greatly restricting or even forbidding education of Kurdish physicians, there has never been a Kurdish physician trained officially as a pediatric cardiologist…until now! He went to medical school in Baghdad before the fall of Saddam. Can you imagine being part of an oppressed people group and leaving a fairly safe area to go to an unsafe area ruled by your enemy to get training? Boggles my mind! But many Kurds did it, so they would have the education to help their people. Many Kurdish physicians also left the country. Now many are coming back. There is very limited pediatric heart care in the city of Erbil in Kurdistan, but at great expense to the families. There are several organizations involved in getting these children cared for out of the country. This has often involved having these children and families travel out of the country simply to be evaluated to see if they need further cardiac care. This has cost the families, on average, $2000 per patient, a staggering amount given their level of poverty. But we’ve witnessed these families will do anything for their children. One family we met sold their family home to travel to Iran simply for a diagnosis…and their child has yet to be treated!

Our objective for the week was to screen children in Iraq, preventing them from having to leave the country for diagnosis. We saw over 160 children this week. That’s a lot of money we saved those families. If we saved just one family from having to sell their home, it was worth it! 72 of the children will receive procedures out of the country, likely over the next year.

Our ongoing objective will be to return to screen children, but also to help them establish pediatric cardiac care in Sulaymaniyah. They have built a cardiac center and are in the process of outfitting it with appropriate equipment. A surgeon has returned from over a decade of practice in Australia to head this effort (another “can you imagine?’ moment). Other physicians have pledged to return. There is currently no adult cardiac surgical care in this area, so they are going to start there, within the next few months. After a couple months of experience taking care of adults, they wish to start taking care of children. That’s when our team has pledged to be back to work alongside them, just as we have done in Mongolia and Kosovo.

It’s important to note that they are not taking care of only Kurdish children in this area, but all Iraqi children. I asked the physician who is working alongside Saddam’s relative what that was like. He said “we are showing our enemies we are different. We don’t kill our enemies.” Instead, they take care of the children of their former enemies.

We saw a total of 162 children with known cardiac disease. Thankfully, we were able to reassure 25 families that their children do not need any further procedures. 113 need surgery or other diagnostic procedures, including caths. Sadly, we had to tell 26 families that it was too late and their children were inoperable. One of the children was likely to die within days. Ten children that were on our list to screen had actually died before we got there. The need is overwhelming. Just when I was feeling good about seeing over 160 children, the pediatric cardiologist told me he had 1400 patients in Sulaimaniyah and 3500 in the whole of Kurdistan, and that there were thousands more in the whole country of Iraq.

I didn’t get this update finished on my flight home. My computer battery died. Upon my return, I had lunch with a friend who knows me well. She said her impression was that this trip had affected me more than any other. I think her assessment is correct and, since she said it, I’ve been trying to figure out why. It is a difficult thing to have your heart broken by the things that break the heart of God. What I mean is the process is difficult. I’m not a big fan of pain. I like keeping that nice protective shell around my heart. I think each trip is another chink in that protective layer. I’m slowly, slowly getting a sense of the magnitude that the statistic that 90% of the world’s children don’t have access to cardiac care represents. And, of course, I cannot divorce the experience from all I learned about the people, the history, the region, and the current conditions in light of current political debates in this country. I yearn to explain what I really believe from what I have seen, that what we have accomplished in Iraq is good, that we are a nation richly blessed beyond comprehension in all ways, including our health care. I read the Bible verse I opened with on the plane on the way home and it struck me. The angel that the Lord sent to help Joshua did not say he was for either side. He was sent on a mission from the Lord to assist one side, but his allegiance was not to one or the other. The politics and conflicts in the Middle East (and in the U.S.) can be confusing and reasonable people obviously disagree. I heard one person put it, “There have been mistakes on both sides. We need to be fair.” Ultimately, the Lord’s will will be done and He will send His angels to fight as He chooses. But His allegiance is to neither side. All are His children. “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have eternal life. For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world should be saved through Him (John 3:16-17)”. And may we be those who continue to give to “these little ones even a cup of cold water (Matthew 10:42)” in His name.

Kim Milhoan, MD

I have felt called to praise the role of our dear friend Ed Morrow.  He’s a humble man, so he wouldn’t want me to do this, but too bad (he also has a sense of humor, thankfully!).  He is the Director of Samaritan’s Purse’s World Medical Mission.  Since For Hearts and Souls has partnered with Samaritan’s Purse to do now our sixth pediatric heart surgery trip to Mongolia (and first to Kosovo this past summer) since 2005, I cannot overstate the level of administrative, personal, and spiritual support he is given to our Mending the Broken Hearts team.  Despite his own aggressive travel schedule, he commits to being with us in Mongolia and serving as our chaplain.  He conducts our daily morning devotions.  He mans our hospitality room, making sure we are all fed and watered.  He delights us with his sense of humor and endless stories of his family’s years on the mission field in Congo.  He serves as counselor to many.  And, most importantly and most dear to me and Kirk, he is our faithful prayer warrior.  He delights in praying for the children prior to their having their procedures and we know he is consistently praying for us throughout the days and nights as we conduct our week.  There are new members to our team each year, but the most frequent question most veterans ask is:  “Is Ed coming?”  I doubt he’ll know this side of heaven the impact he has had on the faith of many individual members of our team.

This year Ed’s travel schedule prevented him from being in Mongolia during the Mending the Broken Hearts week.  However, as a little gift to me and Kirk, his travel schedule did allow him to be in Mongolia for Samaritan’s Purse business the week prior.  Kirk and I; Brandon Phillips, another pediatric cardiologist; Kayleen Lundstrom, our scrub tech; John Souto and Todd Poor, our biomedical engineers; and Bart Hensler, our perfusionist, actually arrived several days prior to the rest of the team in the hopes of conducting one surgery on Friday for a young man, Batulzii, who had his first heart surgery in San Antonio, is now over 18 and ineligible for the Children’s Heart Project, and needs a follow-up surgery.  The schedule of Dr. John Kupferschmid, our pediatric heart surgeon, unfortunately did not allow him to be there as planned (it turned out that Batulzii was sick and couldn’t have had surgery anyway….God knows!).  Our being there early gave us extra time for getting organized for the week ahead and for screening more children for heart disease…and for spending time with Ed!

One morning after we all had met for breakfast the rest of the team had left the table and Ed told Kirk and me that he had something to tell us.  It’s like the old E.F. Hutton commercial:  when Ed talks, people listen!  He told us that he had been awakened in the middle of the night and felt like the Lord was telling him we had a hard week ahead.  He clarified that he’s not a dramatic person and this is not a usual occurrence for him (he said it had only happened to him one other time in his life), but that it had actually frightened him.  If you’ve followed these updates, you know we’ve had some hard times.  In 2006, we lost Undermaa after her surgery.  In 2007, we lost Bogi.  This past summer, our team in Kosovo was involved in a bus accident where three out of the four young men in the car that hit us lost their lives.  We believe in a loving, sovereign, all-powerful God, but I would be lying if I told you that most of us who have been through this don’t have some post-traumatic stress from having gone through all of this.  We took his words as a call to prayer.  This was our sixth surgical trip to Mongolia.  The care and conditions there have actually improved dramatically enough that our concern is that we will start to rest on our ability and our strength and not rest on the power of God that works through us:  “unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it (Psalm 127:1).”  Before he left on Sunday morning, he met with the team on Saturday night for a devotion and told us about his experience and his concerns.  He called us to prayer.  And he brought a cross for us to write down and tape to it whatever it was that was distracting and entangling us from our work.  He also called us to be loving and patient with one another as team members.  Although we missed his daily devotions throughout the rest of the week, Tom Mangham, the Mongolian country director for Samaritan’s Purse, filled in more than ably and blessed us with his devotions each morning.  Ed’s devotion also carried us.  Team members including myself talked throughout the week about more things we needed to put on the cross.  That imagery lasted throughout the week.  And, though we had our failures, I think I saw the most progress in us truly living up to Ed’s admonition to love and support each other as team members throughout the week.

I in no way desire to be arrogant, but I think it’s important to understand that what we do is very, very hard.  Pediatric heart surgery in the United States is very, very hard.  Take that to a third world country and it’s exponentially hard.  I can say without hesitation that our international surgical weeks are the hardest and most exhausting of my year.  Add to that a team of highly skilled and, by necessity, highly controlling individuals who have a touch of post-traumatic stress disorder and it can be explosive!  I confess that sometimes it’s not pretty!  Ed reminded us of that and rightfully cautioned us at the week’s outset.

On Sunday morning, we went to church and immediately saw Bogi’s mom.  This year is the second anniversary of Bogi’s death.  On the morning after Bogi’s death two years ago, her parents met each team member with a book mark handwritten with the following Scriptures: “I thank my God always on your behalf, for the grace of God which is given you by Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 1:4)“ and “Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord (1 Corinthians 15:58)“.  This year Bogi’s mom told us that September is her favorite time of the year because she knows families are being helped.  During the service, she prayed powerfully for the children and families who were going to receive care.  Seeing her there, I replayed in my mind pictures and images of that last week with beautiful Bogi.  As we were singing praise songs, I couldn’t stop crying and asking God to please not let us hurt anyone this year.  I think that is the simple prayer of many of our hearts on the team:  “oh please, Lord, just let there be no death this year.”

On Monday, our usual caution of “expect the unexpected” in Mongolia occurred and we were unable to do any cases in the cath lab.  We did, however, do two cases in the O.R. and it went well.  On Tuesday, we did three cases in the cath lab and two cases in the O.R. and that all went well.  I started having theological discussions with myself:  “Well, maybe Ed warned us and we prayed and it’s all going to be fine.”  Then Wednesday came.  We did four cases in the cath lab.  The fourth was supposed to be the easiest and quickest and it was the longest and hardest and the news wasn’t good.  The lovely young girl we were taking care of has an inoperable condition and there was nothing more we could do for her.  We did two cases in the O.R. and they were long and challenging.  We finished late.  Everyone was tired.  And the first surgical case of the day, Anuujin, was not doing well.  I think most of the team left for the hotel sometime after 8 p.m. and, in addition to our regular ICU team who stays all night, a number of us stayed until well past 11 p.m. putting our heads together and trying to figure out what was best for her.  As it was all transpiring, I knew Wednesday was what Ed had been warning us about.  Team members were short with each other.  And many of us were somewhat fearful and thinking “please!  Not again!”  Kirk always tells the team that God will put is in the position during the week to drive us to our knees and to depend on Him.  This year, it was Wednesday.

On Thursday morning, we were relieved to see that Anuujin had held her ground through the night.  She slowly got better throughout the day and by Friday she was literally miraculously better.  We thought we were going to have to transport her across town to the Children’s Hospital on Friday for continued care in their pediatric ICU as our team was preparing to leave the country, but this turned out to be unnecessary.  We did two more surgeries and three caths on Thursday and two caths on Friday.  In total, we did eight surgeries and twelve caths and, by God’s grace, all children are doing well.

Kirk did the devotions on Friday.  He reflected on all that had transpired through the week.  And he asked us to individually ask for forgiveness for those we had been short with and to thank those who had blessed us by their service.  I love these teams and the people on them.  Many of us count each other among our dearest friends.  We look forward to reuniting and serving in Mongolia together.  But it blessed me to see an extra measure of team love and unity than I think I had witnessed before.  To those other people on the team reading this, forgive me for any way in which I fell short or caused offense this week.  And thank you for your loving and sacrificial service.  Thank you, Ed, for reminding us that they will know we are Christians by our love, one for another (John 13:35).  On that last morning, Caley Johns and Deanna Smith, our two child life specialists, shared about some family members and patients they had led to the Lord during the week.  These Mongolians had testified that our love and care and concern for them, their children, and each other demonstrated to them that we were in some way different…and this testimony allowed Caley and Deanna to share the only thing different about us is Jesus.  Our ministry name is For Hearts and Souls. “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world, and forfeit his soul?  (Mark 8:36)  What will it profit these children and their families if we fix their hearts and do nothing for their souls?  We are all like these children.  We have broken hearts that need fixing and that fixing comes by a free gift.  Jesus died that we might live and all we need to do is accept that free gift (John 3:16).  That is why we do what we do:  all because of Jesus.

As I fly home, Kirk, 26 other Americans, and 16 Mongolians are in western Mongolia for the Searching for the Broken Hearts week.  They will screen hundreds of children for congenital heart disease, and share the gospel with them and their families.  We felt the prayers of those of you at home during the Mending week.  Continue to pray for the Searching team and for all they come in contact with.

Since Kirk separated from the Air Force in June in order to devote himself to full-time ministry, his travel schedule has been and will continue to be aggressive.  Prior to this trip, since July, he had been in Malawi, Zambia, Iraq, Mongolia, and Kosovo.  After the Searching week, he will join friends of ours on a team from Calvary Chapel Maui in Nepal.  They will trek three days to minister to a nomadic tribe that follows monkeys.  He will return to the U.S. on October 23, be home for about three days, and head to Honduras.  He heads back to Iraq in November.  Please keep him in your prayers as he travels.

Thank you, as always, for your love, encouragement, support, and prayers.  Soli Deo Gloria.

Kim

We’re flying home from a week in Kosova. We went there to do our first pediatric cardiac surgical mission trip there as a joint project between For Hearts and Souls and Samaritan’s Purse Children’s Heart Project (CHP). This was Kirk’s eighth trip there since 2001. Like Mongolia, he has traveled there to screen children for heart disease and train local pediatric cardiologists. And also like Mongolia, Kosova is a country from which CHP sends children with heart disease to the U.S. and Canada for surgical repair. It was my second trip to Kosova. Five of us had traveled to the capital, Prishtina, in 2006 to conduct a symposium on how to establish a pediatric cardiac surgical program there. There are so many children to be treated that many of them die in these countries while waiting on a list to be accepted by a U.S. or Canadian hospital. Our hope is that more children can be treated successfully if we help these countries develop their own cardiac surgical programs. It was our sixth such trip, the first five being to Mongolia. These trips are always filled with joy and sorrow, successes and frustrations. This week was no different.

Our week actually started with tragedy of a kind we’d never experienced before. The majority of our American team of twelve (Kirk, peds cardiologist; me, anesthesiolgist; Dr. Minnette Son, peds intensive care physician; Beth Huskamp, RN and CHP staff; Mike Andersen, pharmacist; Dr. Cathy Woodward, peds nurse practitioner (PNP); Nelia Doenges, PNP; Lisa Matasovsky, PNP; and Molly King, RN (PNP in training)) had arrived in Prishtina on Friday. We joined five of Samaritan Purse’s wonderful in-country Kosova staff, headed by Country Director Val Kroeker, there, as well as four sweet, serving translators who helped us for the whole week. We arrived early so that we would have the weekend to examine the children we were planning to take care of, screen more children, and attempt to get set up for the week of surgeries ahead. Dr. John Kupferschmid, pediatric cardiac surgeon, his wife Elizabeth, and Dr. Mary Porisch, peds cardiologist, arrived on Sunday afternoon. While Val went to retrieve these three from the airport, the rest of the team had planned a relaxing outing to the coutryside with some of the local Kosovar medical staff and their families in order to get to know each other better before our week of work together began.

As we were driving through a local village, our bus was hit by a car. I did not see it happen. Given the frankly wild driving we’ve witnessed in Kosova and other countries we’ve traveled in, we’ve been thankful in retrospect to piece together that our bus driver was on the right side of the road and not traveling at excessive speed. Some of our team in the front of the bus saw it happen. An Audi traveling toward us at a high rate of speed had gone off the shoulder, tried to correct, lost control, and fish-tailed into us. Their right side hit the front of our bus and spun so they ended up resting with the right side of the car against the front left of our bus. None of our team were hurt. I heard the screech of tires and felt the impact. From the force of the impact we felt, most of us just thought someone had pulled out in front of us and it was nothing more than a fender-bender. Someone on our team yelled that the four teenage male occupants of the car were not moving and all of us with medical training piled out. The scene was actually indescribably horrific. The occupants were not wearing seat belts, nor did they have air bags (they’re often removed from these cars to be sold). Despite our best attempts, two died at the scene while we were attending to them. We got one into a private vehicle (the emergency response system is nothing like the U.S. and we could not count on an ambulance to arrive in a timely fashion), but he is brain dead. Our team did help stabilize the fourth, least injured victim and an ambulance did arrive for him. Praise the Lord, his injuries were not life threatening and he will survive.

I hesitate to take up a lot of this update with this event. However, as you can imagine, it was incredibly significant for all of us who experienced it. We’ve had a week to “ponder it in our hearts, “ talk about it, cry about it, and pray about it…and most of us can see the loving, sovereign hand of the Lord all over this tragedy. My first reaction was “what did we do wrong?” What did we do wrong that the car hit us and that three occupants did not survive? That’s why it’s been so important to most of us to realize our bus driver was absolutely driving responsibly. I’ve come to realize that the car was out of control and was going to hit someone, either pedestrians or another car or cars. The fact that it hit us, who could absorb its high-speed impact without us being hurt, prevented even further tragedy. One of the Kosovar peds cardiologists had wanted to drive ahead of us in his private car with his wife and two sons. He fully realizes he could have been the vehicle hit and is so thankful Kirk talked him into riding with us. Evidently it is cultural when an event like this happens to find someone at fault and administer instant justice. We were immediately surrounded by a riotous crowd as we attended to the victims at the side of the road. It actually occurred to many of us that although we survived the crash, we may not survive the crowd! I remember praying for protection and keeping to my task. As quickly as the thought came into my head that we were in trouble, the crowds calmed. It turns out two European Union (EU) police officers were returning from the airport and had come upon the scene and immediately, with the help of Kosovar police and some of our Kosovar team mates, established crowd control. One of these men was trying to coordinate an emergency response, including the ambulance. He had even tried to get us a helicopter. The Kosovars tell us the fact that police and ambulance arrived as quickly as they did was actually miraculous for this country.

The hardest part of this event for all of us was to have so much medical training and expertise…and to feel completely impotent to prevent these three deaths. I really do console myself that their head injuries were so bad that even in the U.S. all three would have died. We would have had the illusion of intervention, but the outcome would have been the same. I prayed for our witness as we cared for these victims. I cannot overstate how Americans are absolutely revered by Kosovars. I kept hearing one of the Kosovar doctors telling the crowd we were American doctors. I confess I worried that we had come to their country to help their children and their confidence in us would be damaged by the fact that we could not save these three. The word of mouth that we have received is that most who observed us were thankful and touched to see us try so hard and realize we did everything we could. It turns out that the victims were gypsies, who are highly discriminated against in Kosova. It broke my heart to learn that some in the crowd actually said we shouldn’t try to help them because of their ethnicity. I praise God that we were able to demonstrate that every single human life has value. The EU police officers came to visit with us at our hotel for several hours over dinner Thursday night. They are still reeling from witnessing this event and were actually leaving for Germany the next day to undergo post-traumatic stress counseling. I praise God that we were able to share with them the hope that is within us, what we felt we had learned from the experience, and how we could have peace in the sovereignity of a loving God in the midst of this tragedy.

I think one of the most powerful lessons was trying to take care of patients without the appropriate supplies or equipment. We experienced this for maybe one hour and it was heart wrenching. After working with them for one week, I now know that this is what the Kosovar physicians experience every single day. We were amused with how the doctors and nurses would respond to us in English when we asked them for a particular supply or medicine. They would say “we haven’t.” It became one of our team’s comic relief catch phrases for the week. “We haven’t.” However, it is actually their tragic reality. They have the desire to care for their countrymen. We were impressed by their level of medical education and training. But when it comes to what they need to do their jobs, “they haven’t.” It was important for us to feel what that is like, if even for one hour.

After the week’s hard start, in terms of taking care of the children, the week actually went miraculously well. We were supposed to start surgeries on Monday, but Dr. John’s luggage did not arrive until Monday and he had checked some donated surgical equipment that we needed. I am thankful for one additional day of organization. They don’t currently do pediatric heart surgery in Kosova, so what we accomplished was historic. There were lots of logistical false starts as we tried to sort out who and what we needed from the Kosovars to pull this off, but the Lord was faithful. There were lots of things we thought they had that we found “they haven’t,” but I can testify, like on every surgical trip we’ve been on, we may not have had everything we wanted, but we had everything we needed. We do not want to reduce our standard of care to do these surgeries internationally and we in no way want to compromise the safety of these children. We were able to accomplish this successfully.

We chose to do “simpler” surgeries that did not require the heart-lung bypass machine, as they are not currently performing these surgeries in Kosova, even on adults. We did one patent ductus arteriosus (a remnant vessel from fetal circulation that usually closes on its own) ligation, four coarcation of the aorta (narrowing of the large artery that feeds the body) repairs, and one diagnostic heart catheterization. The heart cath was also historic in that they had never done a pediatric cath, let alone general anesthesia in the cath lab. Dr. Mary had actually wanted to do an intervention on this child to hopefully enlarge her narrowed aorta (she’s already had one repair and a stent placed), but decided the conditions were not safe to do so. Although this was extremely hard on her not to do what she had wanted to do for this child, it ended up being a powerful lesson in us not being willing to do procedures we consider unsafe. She will likely go to the U.S. again for repair or we will take care of her on a subsequent trip if we can be more assured of the right conditions.

The end result is we were able to be the hands and feet of Jesus to six children and their families and there are six healthy children to show for it at the end of the week. There is no greater joy. The needs continue to be great. We pray for workers for the harvest field, more medical professionals who are willing to do these trips. We pray for the children we took care of, the additional children we diagnosed, and their families. We pray for comfort for our bus driver and for the families that are grieving, and we pray for healing and comfort for the young man who survived.

Our desire is to glorify the Lord in all that we do. I pray that in all circumstances this week, both good and bad, that our desire was accomplished. Soli deo Gloria.